Why You Gotta Be So Rude?

So I’ve been working at my new job for three weeks now. Just finished by third week Saturday morning. Haven’t written a single word since I started. I feel like such a slacker, but I just can’t seem to turn my brain back on. I’m going to make a real effort Monday night though. We’ll see how that goes. I’ve been playing this fantasy ps3 game that I really like on my nights off, so I have things like elves and trolls running through my mind right now.

I keep acquiring new bruises on my arms from work. It almost looks like someone might be abusing me. I also always seem to have a so g stuck in my head these days. This morning its that Rude song. No idea why, but its better than when I had Fancy on repeat in my brain Friday night. My work friends kept trying to get me to sing it because one of them didn’t know the song. Just ride with me in the car or watch me do the dishes and you’ll hear me sing. Maybe even dance.

But you know, people really are very rude these days. Too stuck on their phones and social media to even know what’s going on around them. I can’t even tell you how many articles I’ve read about studies that prove how social media negatively affects your daily lives. Maybe that’s why I suck at blogging.

So Tired

I am so exhausted! Just finished day two of my new job. Two ten hour shifts. My feet hurt. My legs hurt. And my hip hurts. So. Much. Pain. But the pay will be good. I have two more days to go before I get three days off, so if you don’t hear from me for a few days, just know that I’m either at work, crying in pain, or sleeping. Which also means I won’t be getting much writing done. If I get any done at all, which I probably won’t.

So now I am going to get ready to work out and then I’m going to bed. Then work.

More Young Love

So I was just looking at my Facebook author page, and I noticed that I don’t have an author photo. On my normal page, I have several author pages that I’ve liked, and they all have their own photos. I’m not sure if it’s really that important, but I think it’s something that I’m going to have to work on at some point.

Well, not as much progress last night as the night before, I only wrote 788 words in Young Love, bringing the total amount of words up to 4,669. Not too bad. I did figure out that I want the series to be five books long. Tentatively. And so far, most of the almost 5,000 words is in the last book. Go figure. But hey, it’s something. And I almost feel that it’s okay to have them all written before I release the first one, and then just release them every six months. Sounds fairly smart to me at least.

Today I plan on writing the outlines for the five different books, I already have an idea of what each one is about, but I need some sort of guideline to go by. I also want to write more for the book, obviously, but in particular I want to write the second half of this chapter that I wrote on Saturday (or whenever it was that I wrote a bunch of it). I wrote a scene that day that is about as long as half of a chapter so one more scene should make a whole chapter. My word count aim for each book is 60,000. I read somewhere that that was a normal length for romances so, why not start there? I will also try to get out of my Bugs funk today and try to finish Chapter 9. Try. I need to stay up really late again tonight so I have plenty kid-free time.

Don’t forget you can head on over to Facebook and like my author page. Whenever I post here, it automatically posts there. Same with Twitter, LinkedIn, Tumblr, and Path (not completely sure what Path is, but WordPress gave me that option so I did it. I’m also not sure how to find my profile so I can add a link here). So go to whichever one is your favorite and like or follow me and you’ll be able to see the new things I post without having to come here first.

Staying Up All Night

So I’m not sure if I mentioned this, but my shift at my new job is ten hours long, and it starts at 6:30 at night. I literally have to be up all dang night four days out of the week. That part kind of sucks, but then I get more daylight hours with my daughter and I only work Tuesday – Friday so I won’t miss any family parties, which is pretty cool.

Well, in preparation of my first real workday this coming Tuesday, I stayed up as late as I could last night (around 1:30 in the morning, not too shabby). I wrote 2,511 words in my quest to stay up all night. It wasn’t in Bugs, but it was words. It was one full scene (half of a chapter) and then the beginnings of another scene. I believe I’ll be able to use them in a romance series I’ve been thinking about for a while now called Young Love (title subject to change, obviously).

Small accomplishments.

Hopefully I can write more tonight before I give up the fight and go to bed. I didn’t get a chance to take an afternoon nap today so I’m not sure how I’ll do.

I’m still stuck on Bugs. It’s getting very frustrating but I’m starting to wonder if I keep getting stuck because of a fizzle in passion. It’s possible, but unhelpful.

Ah, well, a break could be all I need to get back into the swing of things.

Update

On Thursday, I stated my new job. I’m really excited about it. It’s for a great company and it sounds like I’m going to have a lot of fun there. Hopefully this will be a career versus just another job. It’s a guaranteed 40+ hours a week, which is good, but also means that I’ll have less time to write (because, you know, I write so much when I have nothing to do anyways).

Oh well, if John Grisham can accomplish things during his lunch breaks as a lawyer, I can do it during my breaks at my warehouse job.

I’m still feeling conflicted about Bugs. I have come to a stand still in Chapter 9. I honestly can’t remember if I had problems with this chapter the first time around or not, but I won’t be surprised if I did. It’s odd because it feels like this is a spot I shouldn’t be stuck at, but I am. I’m sure it doesn’t help that horror isn’t exactly the mood that I’m generally in these days (how in the world do write about death and whatnot when you’re singing Rapunzel songs in your head?).

I did watch a funny video today. It deals with clowns. Instead of telling you about it, I’m just going to post the link. Don’t watch if you’re afraid of clowns. I thought it was funny, although a commenter made a good point; the clown would be dead if any of those people had a concealed weapons permit.

I hope everyone had a nice fourth of July (even if you’re not in America; hey, the fourth WAS a Friday) and I will try to post more often.

Reasons Why I Am NOT A Feminist

That doesn’t mean I don’t believe in equal right….for EVERYONE, not just women. Feminists today make everything about them and place all the blame on men, even if some of it should be shared. So, here are my reasons why I am not a feminist.

1. As much as I believe in that everyone should be able to wear what they want without having to worry about being attacked, I don’t think they should. Do you have so little respect for yourself that you feel the need to wear miniskirts and shirts that accentuate the goods? Cover it up. Not so men aren’t tempted to rape you, but so that you show them that you have respect for your body and your reputation. Tongues will wag about the office slut when she walks in in a tight dress. Tongues will always wag when a man walks in in whatever he has that’s sexy to attract his female boss (yes they do exist as much as you would like everyone else believe that they don’t).

2. You not getting that CEO job over the male competition does not necessarily mean you were disqualified based on your sex. I have worked for women who were sexist towards other women. I’ve also worked for men who valued everything I did at work because I did it well. Sure, there are some men who will choose a man over another woman because he’s a man, but I think we’re far enough is society that most men don’t do that. However, I would like to add that I’m sure some men feel more comfortable with hiring a man over a woman because so many women have falsely claimed sexual harassment. Why aren’t men screaming sexual harassment? Because they would be laughed at, that’s why. I’m not going to lie, I drool over good looking men just like men drool over good looking women. That’s called human nature. So believe me when I say men get sexually harassed, and even raped, like women do.

3. Please never say this again: “I cover up/put my keys between my fingers/carry pepper spray/never walk alone because it’s not if I get attacked, but when.” How many of you have actually been attacked? Really? I have done some of those things myself, don’t get me wrong. But I don’t do it because I’m positive I’m going to be attacked, but I do it because there are some bat-shit crazy people out there. Men and women! Don’t believe me? Go to Walmart at midnight. Living in fear is no way to live. And the crazy people can smell fear. Be cautious, but don’t be so scared that you believe that you’ll get attacked every time you go to your mailbox in your pajamas. Be realistic people.

4. I’m sorry if you ‘friendzoning’ a man makes you think you’ve increased his sense of entitlement and thereby increase your chances of threat. Women have been friendzoned much longer than men. Go ahead and think about the first boy that you ever liked. Did he like you back? Probably not. Did your sense of entitlement increase? Probably not. Same goes for men. They’ll feel rejected and embarrassed, sure, but then I’m sure they’ll play it off and just go one with their day, without thinking about how much more entitled they are now. Self entitlement is something that people grow up with. If the parents aren’t stern with their no’s or let the child govern the house, then the child grows up into an adult who thinks that they are entitled to everything. This whole next generation of kids coming out of high school are living proof of that. Fact, women whine about that stuff more than men. Go check your Facebook. If you have a teen friend on there, I’m sure at some point they’ve complained about how it’s totally unfair that their parents won’t let them go to the concert they paid for with their parents money because they failed science class.

5. Little boys will pull a girls hair if he likes her because little boys don’t know how to express that kind of emotion any other way! That comes with the male package. As they grow older and understand how things work a little better, then no, they shouldn’t be doing that kind of stuff. But if a girl is raised right, she’ll understand that if an older boy, or man, abuses you in any way to tell someone. If the girl is raised right, she’ll not that it won’t matter if he likes you or not, he shouldn’t be doing that. I reiterate, if parents actually parented their children, then some of this crap wouldn’t be happen.

6. Feminists fight for a woman’s right to say anything without persecution. Noble thing to fight for. But I feel like I can’t talk to a feminist without getting attacked by other women. How is that fighting for my right to say anything? I think the #BanBossy fight is dumb. There. I said it. I tell my daughter to stop being bossy because she likes to tell me what to do, and that just don’t fly here. If she’s telling other children what to do, I’ll tell her not to tell people what to do. Don’t get your panties in a bunch, I say the same thing to my boyfriend’s nephew. You just shouldn’t ever tell people what to do. Unless you get paid for it.

7. I feel singled out and hated on because I have always dreamed of being a stay at home mom with a husband and a house. Why do you feel like you have to convince me that I’d be happier with a corporate job while my husband stays at home? That’s not what I want. Ever. I want to watch my children grow and I want to be the one that teaches them things. I want to be a full time mother, not one who only gets to see her kids a few hours every day she works. That doesn’t sound like happiness to me. If it does for you, then go for it. But don’t make me feel less for my decision because it’s not what you would choose.

8. Male or female, take a self defense class. There are crazies out there people! And they do attack. Some men hit women because most women don’t hit back. It’s in our nature to nurture, not fight. The men who hit men are doing it because that’s a challenge. They’re usually fine with each other afterwards too. Women also hit men. I watched this video a few weeks ago of this teenage girl beating on this fat boy on a school bus. Nobody else got involved in the fight or even stood up for the boy until he retaliated and hit her back. Why? She deserved to be hit back because she was beating on someone else for not reason. And I really mean beating. The kid most likely had several large bruises from this girl. He should have stood up to her. But as soon as he did, suddenly everyone else had to come to her rescue. Women are not weak. Feminists toot that horn all day long. And they’re right. We are not weak. We are strong. So stop acting like the victim if you’re the one who started the conflict in the first place.

9. Men are becoming more afraid to be men. And this is not just from women, it’s from practically everyone. Sometimes men just need to beat each other up to get over a fight. I’ve seen best friends pummel each other and then throw jokes around ten minutes later. Men are naturally aggressive. As long as they’re taught the rights and wrongs of how to release the aggression properly, there shouldn’t be any problems. But little boys are being taught that they aren’t allowed to be little boys anymore at all! People have become so afraid of what a male has the potential to do (and yes, the potential can be very scary), that they’re trying to turn them into what women naturally are. I just don’t think it’s going to work and we’re going to end up seeing a lot of stories about boys exploding and killing people.

10. If your daughter doesn’t like the pink Legos, THEN DON’T BUY HER THE DAMN PINK LEGOS! Why can’t people just realize that? The only think Lego did when they added the more feminine sets to their collection is that they’ve just now broadened their sales. I would have loved to have pink Legos as a kid, in addition to the regular ones as well. You can pretty much get Legos in any color you want now anyways, don’t nit pick something insignificant like that. If you’re going to go after toys, go after how expensive they are. Now that’s ridiculous.

11. Since when was I suddenly not allowed to want to lose weight? Yes I want to lose weight for most of the conventional reasons. I want to look good and feel comfortable in those cute clothes I see other girls wearing. But I want to lose weight to be healthy and so that I can keep up with my daughter. It’s not for a man and anyone who changes anything about themselves for another person needs to rethink the relationship and look into themselves to find out the real reason they feel they need to change to please someone else. It’s not healthy. Regardless if your male or female.

Bonus points! (the following points are reactions to the tweets from these two site: here and here)

* You should always be cautious that you could be attacked in a dark, lonely parking lot at night. That’s called common sense and survival of the fittest. But don’t expect it.

* Women aren’t encouraged as much to explore their sexuality because they get pregnant. Easily.

* Boys who are raised right are taught how to control their impulses. I’d like to think that’s the majority of the male population.

* Men will honk at you. Don’t take it so personal. While it shouldn’t be normal, it won’t go away. Those men are pigs. Flip them the bird and move on with your life.

* Other than my psycho ex, no one has ever threatened me with rape or death. Yes I have a psycho male ex. There are plenty of men who have psycho female exes too. Overly attached girlfriend anyone?

* To the girl who was told it was her problem because a male scared her, pick a different church. But be warned, some people just don’t know how to respond to something like that. I don’t even know what I would tell you. Other than if you didn’t know the guy then maybe kick them in the family jewels next time. If you do know him, tell him how it made you feel. If he laughs at you then maybe you need to reevaluate the relationship.

* If people think it’s always a girls fault for either being rejected or doing the rejecting, then they’re just rude. And dumb. Go with dumb. It is not conventional wisdom. In either situation no has ever asked me, “How come you didn’t go out with the reclusive, stinky, weirdo?” That would be a dumb question and they know that.

* No you shouldn’t change who you are to avoid sexual violence, but you should use your head and the thing that rattles inside of it. Don’t purposely put yourself in a bad situation. It really is that simple. No, that’s not even usually how it happens but you also need to realize that some people are just sick and will do whatever they want to satisfy their needs. That goes back to that survival of the fittest thing. There are religious figures who touch children. There are female teachers who rape teen boys. And there are some men who rape women. Some people are just sick.

It all comes down to this: don’t be stupid, use your head, and don’t place blame on a gender as a whole. It’s not feasible. Not every man is going to rape a woman. Not every woman is going to fall victim to a man like this. Not every man is going to be good and honest. And not every woman is going to be innocent.

We need to stop generalizing people as a whole, and start realizing that everyone is their own individual self. Don’t place blame on a random man on the street because you were once abused by someone else. It’s not that guys fault at all. Everyone just needs to stop with their feminist movement and their gay rights and whatnot and just get together and agree to love each other unconditionally and realize that, while no one is perfect, everyone has the right to be who they are. And please, if you see anyone who needs any kind of help, help them. Don’t stand by. Seeing a questionable video on YouTube that sounds like a future killing spree? Alert someone to it. See a meek woman with a bruised eye walking with a dominant man (they’re easy to spot), help her! She needs help. Stop hating and start loving.

And now I feel like a hippie from the 60’s. Peace man.

As for the tragedy that resulted in this #YesAllWomen campaign, stop ignoring the fact that 4 of the 6 people that were killed were men. This guy was wrong in the head. Very wrong in the head. This was not just about women. This was about people. Six people died because of him. Mourn for all of them as their individual selves. Don’t try to make it look like only women were hurt. None of them saw this coming. None. Mourn for them and be thankful the number wasn’t higher. Don’t put any focus on the killer at all, but realize that he was a sick coward who took his own life because he knew what they would do to him in prison.

Just be happy in your life. Don’t bring down others.

I Hate Titles

I am being extremely lazy today. I’ve been bad and played Facebook games all day. ALL DAY. Oh well. Now the kid is in bed for a nap, so I can write. Kind of. I wrote a total of 697 words yesterday. Not bad, but it could have been a lot better too.

I take that back. Her nap lasted 20 minutes. I miss the days when her naps meant I had two hours to myself during the day. Oh well. I’m not in much of a ‘horror’ mood today anyways. I feel more romantic today. So maybe I’ll work on my romance short story (that still doesn’t have a title) for a little bit today. It’s easier to write when My Little Pony is being watched and laughed at thirty feet away from me anyways.

It bugs (hehe) me that I have such a hard time coming up with titles for my books and short stories. Mostly. Bugs was easy and so wasn’t Love, Mommy (my romance novel, about 20,000 words into it). But they were the only two. I had written all of Come Find Me before I came up with the title. But I don’t know if that counts because it was less than 10,000 words. I sometimes feel like cheating by going onto my Sims game and stealing a title from one of my sims that writes all the time. Would that count as plagiarism?  Continue reading

Woops, I Forgot To Name My Post!

Chapter 8 is done and chapter 9 is started and going well. Feeling pretty positive about it. The chapters after 9 are all exciting and full of suspense and action. I’m so excited to write them! I know some authors have the ability to write chapters out of order, but every time I try, it doesn’t come out right. Or I should say it doesn’t feel like they come out right. So I write in order. It’s better anyways; the little details matter quite a bit and I need to make sure they’re all correct.

I’ve been thinking about the editing process for when I’m done writing. I am not an editor and I”m quickly realizing that I don’t really want to reread my stuff. I’m not sure why, but I just can’t seem to do it. I can scan through what I’ve written when I’m looking for a fact or to make sure I included something, but it feels weird to just sit down with a red pen and just read it. But the few editors I priced online are all pretty expensive. I wasn’t surprised that they cost a pretty penny, but I was shocked to see just how many pretty pennies they want. I plan on doing more research before I make any final decisions though.

I’m having such a hard time thinking right now. Way too many distractions right now. But on the plus side, it’s not yet ten in the morning here and I’ve already written 371 words of chapter 9, bringing the total word count for the chapter up to 666 (dun dun DUUUUNNN) and 28,833 words for the books so far. That book word count doesn’t include chapter 6 and it doesn’t include most of the preface and about half of chapter 5. They’re written, but not on my computer so I don’t know their word count yet, but I’m willing to bet that my total word count is somewhere around 35,000. So, yay!! I’m almost halfway done! Woot woot!

I have a feeling I”m going to have to go back through and add more to 9 though. I was aiming for between 1,000 and 1,500 words for the first section of it (there are only two sections in this chapter) and I only wrote 666. I’ll just have to write the rest, see how the word count is, and then go from there. The average word count I need for every chapter so that I reach my goal for the total word count is 3,089.5. Right now I’m averaging (not including missing or incomplete chapters) 4,274.5 words per chapter. I’m over by 1,185 so if 9 isn’t so great, it may be okay. It’s not a very big chapter anyways, but it’s an important one. It’s like the turning point in the story.

Okay. Back to work people.

No Ear Kissing Here

Chapter 8 is done!!!! Woohoo!!! And it’s better than the first time, which is awesome. I’ve noticed that everything that I’m having to rewrite is better than the first draft. It makes me very happy because I’d be very mad if it was worse the second time around. So, actually, losing what I lost when my flash drive crashed has been a blessing in disguise.

I did realize last night why it’s so hard for me to faithfully write every day. I’m exhausted at night and during the day, how do you kill people and all that fun stuff when your three year old is throwing a tantrum? Okay, bad example. When said child is being adorable or lovable? It’s hard. At least for me it is. I’ll be writing a tense scene and my daughter will come up and start asking for things and I’m able to mostly ignore her, but then usually my boyfriend will come in and do something like kiss my ear. Bugs can’t eat people when my ear is being kissed! I would love to have my own little room to type in and have the ability to deadbolt the door, but I don’t see that happening for a while (I write at the dining room table right now).

But even with my own writing space I don’t think I’d be able to write something useful every single day. Writer’s block seems to be my best friend when I try to actually work. That and the internet. Stupid internet.

Do you have any techniques/habits/tools/whatnots to help you keep writing? Maybe duck tape on the family members?

Work

With the way my stats have been the last few days, the graph looks like it’s giving me the finger. Flipping the bird. As an adult, I think, ‘Yay! User views!’ but the teenager inside me is cracking up at the sass the internet is giving me today. Yes, I felt that that was worth sharing.

Still not feeling good. I’m not really sure what it is but it’s mostly just when I’m moving around and it feels kind of like the motion sickness I get in the car. It’s odd.

Today I am continuing with my book……. when I can. I have to clean the house and help my boyfriend do some yard work too so I’m not sure just how much I’ll be able to write today.

I’m just not feeling it today.